Do you ever go to bed thinking you are failure? You are NOT failing! But, here are three reasons why you THINK you’re failing.
You go to bed defeated, tossing and turning, thinking about all you could have done and should have done during the day.
“Did I read that book?”
“I can’t believe we had pizza for dinner AGAIN!”
“Would she be struggling with math if she was in school?”
” WHY don’t my kids behave?”
“The house is a wreck, how does SHE keep her house so clean?”
You believe the lie that you are a failure. But, believe me when I tell you that you are not.
As moms, we constantly think we are failing. Why? I believe there are 3 reasons why you think you’re failing.
Comparison
We compare ourselves, our homes, our marriages and our kids to everybody and their brother. We scroll through Facebook and see pictures of smiling families and wonder why ours aren’t smiling.
We check out Pinterest and see super healthy and delicious recipes and wonder why we can’t cook like that. Let alone meal plan!
We go on Instagram and see beautiful photos, and don’t take the time to realize that they are filtered versions of someone’s lives.
Here’s the thing, social media gives us a peek into another’s life, NOT the real picture. It’s a highlight reel, not a behind the scenes special.
This comparison steals our joy and makes us THINK we are failing. But, we’re not.
Over Scheduling
If I am honest, I would say that I don’t know a mom in real life that has not overscheduled themselves at some point. If I am super honest, I’d say that I know few moms that are not over scheduled in some way right now. We plan our lives around our kids, our extra activities, homeschool groups, play dates and then wonder why we never have time to sit down and rest.
Over scheduling leads to burn out. Yet, we all do it. Why?
Because we think if everyone else can handle it, then we can too. And if we can’t, we are failing.
But, here’s the secret. Everyone else CAN’T handle it. They are in the same rat race you are, they just put on a pretty smile and pretend it’s all okay. Over scheduling fills our to-do lists with one more thing. When we learn to say no we will realize quickly that we can’t do it all. And by trying to we will believe that we are failing at the things that matter most.
We Try to Keep Up With the Joneses
This goes along with comparison and over scheduling, yet it is also different. We compare ourselves to the Joneses and believe we are failing, we over schedule ourselves because we believe that if the Joneses can do it we can too. But, we also try to keep up with the Joneses, and when we can’t, we believe we are failing.
How often have you wondered how so and so can afford that new car? Or how she keeps her house and lawn so neat? What about the super cute clothes she and her kids always have on? And don’t forget the fact that THEY can afford that curriculum that you’ve been eyeing for years.
We want what they have, and when we don’t, we believe that we are failing in some way. Trying to keep up with the Joneses will breed discontentment in our hearts. We will forget to look at our own blessings because we are too busy chasing or coveting someone else’s. We believe that if we can’t provide our kids with what someone else has that we are failing them, but this is SO far from the truth.
All three of these reasons you believe you’re failing are heart issues. They all stem from believing that we are not good enough and that what we have could be better. They stem from fear!
My blogging friend Megan shared a great post about the fear of failure:
The thing about fear is this: we feed it. We feed it by our negative thoughts, the comparisons we make to others, the things we can’t change. It is time to starve the fear.
Can I encourage you today to starve that fear?
Can I encourage you today when your head hits the pillow to remember all that you have?
Can I encourage you today to thank GOD for the beautiful blessing that is your family?
Can I encourage you today to pray for contentment and peace for where you are in your journey?
Moms, believe me when I say that you are not a failure!
If you believe this can I encourage you to text or call a friend and remind them of this truth? Encouraging one another on our journey as moms is so important and your assuring words may make their day!
Misty says
You are very welcome!! I am so glad it encouraged you!
Drennan Baker says
I have not responded to a blog post in YEARS! However, I needed to hear this SO badly today! Thank you for writing this.
Branson says
Oh many I fall victim to all 3 of these! And it seems #2 an #3 go hand in hand! If you haven’t already, feel free to link up with us for Faith and Fellowship Friday this week! http://branson365.blogspot.com/2015/11/faith-and-fellowship.html
nourishingmyscholar says
Very Encouraging Post! Thank you! I think we all feel we are failing at sometime or another. Thank you for reminding me that I am not failing.
rodandmegs says
Thanks! Here it is: http://myfullhandsandheart.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-fear-of-failure.html?m=0
Misty says
No, we sure aren’t! Thanks for stopping by!
Misty says
Hey Megan! Leave me the link and I’ll include a link back to it 🙂
rodandmegs says
Love this! I wrote a post called The Fear of Failure. This goes along great with it!
Sarah says
Great reminder that no one is perfect!