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HELP! I’m an Angry Mom

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I don’t want angry mom days. I don’t want my children to remember that mommy blows up. I want them to remember a joyful mommy who can control her emotions. How can we fix being an angry mother?

I have a mommy confession to make sometimes I’m an angry mom. There, I said it. I have written before of my unglued journey and while I will admit I have made a lot of progress, I still fail.  A lot more than what you may believe.

A few weeks ago, I had an unglued relapse. The night before I had gone to bed feeling like poo. I woke up feeling even worse. However, moms don’t get sick days (that should change right?) and I had to get up and work and get our day going. As the day went on, I felt myself getting more and more grumpy, and more sicker. I continued with school, chores, etc just like any other day but I knew I was going to blow. I could feel it coming on. Sure enough, after lunch, it happened. Mommy blew up. Afterward, I felt awful. I had been doing so well, and I felt like a failure.

mommyblowsup

So, why did I become an angry mom? I believe it was for a number of reasons, all areas I struggle with, and you may too.

Skipping Prayer and Devotions

That morning I didn’t “feel” like doing my devotions. Instead, I opted for 10 extra minutes on Facebook. Big mistake! I always feel a difference when I opt out of my morning devotion. That time with the Lord makes me ready for my day. Even if it is just 5 minutes of reading a devotion in my email-it helps! Moms believe me when I stress that you should never opt out of this time. Also, the minute I felt myself tensing up I should have excused myself to my prayer closet. That would have kept me in check of my emotions and would have kept me from coming unglued.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

Doing Too Much

I was sick, so why did I insist on school, chores, and everything else on my daily “to do” list? Because I am crazy, that’s why. Moms when you are sick or have a to-do list a mile long you are bound to blow up on someone. Chances are it is going to be your kids. Save them and yourself by saying no to over commitments, long to-do lists, and just doing too much. It is okay to say no sometimes, and when you are sick, it is okay to have a pajama and movie day. No one will judge you for that!

Exhaustion

Sleep is something our bodies need. Without it, we are walking on eggshells. I was so tired that day, and in hindsight, I should have slept longer or told myself I could nap when the little ones did.  As moms, we need to make sure we are well rested and tell ourselves it is okay to take a nap when we are sick or hit the snooze button if we had a late night.

I don’t want angry mother days. I don’t want my children to remember that mommy blows up. I want them to remember a joyful mommy who can control her emotions. How can we fix being an angry mother?

Help for the Angry Mother

When I blow up, I always tend to feel like a failure afterward. I cry. I beat myself up. Why? Because that is not the mom I want to be. I want to act in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, my husband, and my children. So, what did I do? I apologized, and I asked them to pray with me. I let them see me ask the Lord for forgiveness, and let them hear me ask for more patience, and for guidance.

Moms, we will make mistakes. We all have our weak moments. Mine may be becoming unglued, yours may be something else. What is important is how we handle those mistakes. We must ask our children for forgiveness, we must ask the Lord for forgiveness, and we must realize what we did to set off our bad behavior.

I don’t want crazy mommy days. I don’t want my children to remember mommy blowing up in anger. I want them to remember a joyful mommy who can control her emotions. I can sit and dwell on the days that I mess up, or I can choose to find a way to take those moments and learn from them. For me, that moment was a time of imperfect progress. A time to remember how far I had come, and that I still have work to do.

Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in GRACE…..imperfect progress. ~Lysa Terkeurst

Comments

  2. Noelani S. says

    I know this is an older post but I came across it on Pinterest and it hit home. As a mother of 7 little under the age of 11, with one more on the way, I tend to lose it rather quickly these days. Thank you for sharing this article and reminding me to take moment to reflect on how I am affecting my children.

  9. The Imp says

    I totally understand. BUT…I take comfort in the fact that, if nothing else, my children learn from my blow ups too. They learn about being humble, asking forgiveness, about being imperfect and human. They see me ask for their forgiveness, they hear me explain why it wasn’t ok for Mom to do what she did…

    Often, I learn more from what I did wrong than what I did right.

  11. Kim says

    Love your advise and it was inspiration to me! Keep it up being a Mom is hard and we need real tips that work! Thanks a bunch for the sound advise for not becoming unglued!

  12. Brittany at EquippingGodlyWomen.com says

    Yep, I’d say those are about the same reasons I blow up too. I know this, and yet, seeing them in writing really helps bring them to mind….

  17. Misty says

    Yes!! I think identifying those triggers has been my biggest help in my unglued journey. That and prayer 🙂

  19. Valerie Plagge says

    Great post and reminder on what I should do when I’m about ready to blow-up! I had a blow-up last night and just like you, I felt awful afterwards. Thanks for your thoughts today. I’m checking you out from the Blogging on the Side group!

  21. Brandi @ penguinsinpink.com says

    Hi Misty, Thank you for sharing. I blow up sometimes too and usually for the same reasons as you. I have been working on it and one of the things that still amazes me is the power of prayer. Every time I get upset and pray either out loud or to myself I am much better capable of handling my reactions. God bless!

  22. Gabby says

    I’ve been working on this area as well because I’ve been so impatient with my kids lately, due to a stressful time in our family. I find that lowering our standards really helps, so today, I just had to text a friend to let her know we would be a few minutes late for our play date. Giving myself permission to be late helped me not explode on the kids when they didn’t obey the first time I told them to put shoes on. It’s important that we identify our triggers so that we can try to prevent future blow ups.

  23. Misty says

    Thank you! I went through the book Unglued, and it helped a lot! As far as the praying with my kids go, I will admit it was not my original plan. A good friend told me she did that, and advised I did as well. It makes a big difference. I think it is important for our kids to see us humble ourselves, and it is important for us to set that example!

  25. Mandy says

    What an inspiring story! I blow up MUCH to often, and it used to happen on almost a daily basis. It’s something the Lord and I are working on together. 🙂 I can also tell a difference in myself when I skip reading my scriptures. There’s much more to it than just the act. I think maybe I’ll try praying with my kids as you did. What better way to set an example?

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