3 Marriage Mistakes You Don’t Even Know You’re Making

Marriage. This thing is hard. Harder really sometimes than parenting. Why? Because there is SO much at stake.

Marriages in this country fail 50% of the time. In Christian homes, this rate is the same. That seems crazy to me!

From the beginning of a marriage, the odds are against you. Chances are you will fail. I don’t know about you but this makes me even more determined to prove them wrong!

In order to do this though, I think it’s important to try our best to NOT make these marriage mistakes. These mistakes in a marriage can be detrimental, and chances are we are ALL making them and not even realizing it.

 

#1 Believing that Divorce is an Option

If your marriage fails it’s okay. The odds are against us right? If you do divorce you know it will be accepted.  No stigma. No judgment (most of the time) it’s just accepted.

And you know what? That’s sad. When you go into a marriage the first thing you need to determine is that divorce is NOT an option. Yes, I know I will get comments that this happened or that happened and it’s okay. I know that everyone has their own story, BUT if you walk into a marriage with the thought that if it doesn’t work out you can always divorce your spouse you are making a HUGE mistake. Period.

#2 Not Wanting to Be Dependent

I have had many people tell me that I am too dependent on my husband.  The assumption sometimes is that this is a bad thing. I don’t think it is. Dependency in a marriage is a good thing. I WANT to be dependent on my husband. If he didn’t need me why would he be here?  You should NEED your spouse and vice versa. The bible says

 

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh~ Ephesians 5: 31

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? ~Matthew 19:5

This reiterates the fact to me that dependency is a good thing. What is the alternative? Independence? That seems a rather lonely idea to me. I want to have someone to share my life with. I want to know that I have someone to rely on. I want someone to need me as well.

#3 Lack of Submission

Yes, I used that word, but give me a minute. Submission can easily be replaced with the word respect. Respect is SO important in a marriage. FOR both individuals. The bible says:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; ~Ephesians 522-25

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. ~Colossians 3:18

If you take the word submit out and replace it with respect it reads a little bit easier (nowadays submission seems to be a bad word!). But think about it if you don’t respect each other’s thoughts, opinions and wishes what kind of relationship do you have? If you are constantly second guessing your husband how can you expect him to lead your household or have the respect of your children?

Submission is SO important in a marriage and I know it is something we all struggle with but believe me when I say that working through THIS issue will make a HUGE difference in your marriage.

So, do you want to prove the skeptics wrong? Do you want a marriage that lasts? I do! And one way I hope to achieve this is by not making the above mistakes. Does this mean my marriage will be perfect? No. Does this mean that there will be days where I fail? Yes. But, in the end, I have resolved to stay married. I have chosen to love my husband, to respect him, and to be dependent on him. I want to be different. Not just another statistic.