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Mom guilt stinks and is not warranted! Make the decision today to not let mom guilt rule your life.
I am sitting at the coffee shop, working. Well, I’m supposed to be working. Instead, a dozen thoughts are running through my mind.
Why am I here? I should be home, with the kids. Isn’t it selfish of me to spend time away from my family while I write this book? That’s not what a good mom would do. She wouldn’t leave her kids with their dad to go chase a dream. She would be home. Why am I so selfish?
The thoughts twirled around and around and I end up caving and going home. As I walk through the door I hear laughter, they sure don’t seem to be missing me. I walk in and tell my hubby why I’m home and he says, “You’re ridiculous, I told you to go work!”
Mom guilt. Why do we have it? It makes no sense to me at all.
- If a mom works, she feels guilty for not being home.
- If a mom is at home, she feels s guilty for not “entertaining” her kids every five minutes (I blame Pinterest)
- If a mom works at home, she feels bad for her kids seeing her work, when she “should” be interacting with them.
- Then there’s the laundry that’s never done
- The dinner that needs to be cooked (frozen pizza again?)
The to-do list doesn’t end, and neither does the guilt.
I wonder sometimes as my husband leaves for work every day why he doesn’t feel bad. You know why? Because he knows he has to go to work. He provides for our family. That’s his job.
So, why do we as moms beat us up over the exact same things?
Here’s the truth about mom guilt:
It’ stinks!
It’s not fair
It’s not warranted.
Mom, you are doing a good job. There is no reason to beat yourself up or feel guilty for doing something for yourself. There is no reason to sit and entertain your child every minute of the day. There is no reason to explain yourself for the choices you make. I think as moms we too often put this guilt on ourselves. We assume society is blaming us when in reality they are not.
Make the decision today to not let mom guilt rule your life. Choose to give yourself a pat on the back. Text a friend and tell her she’s doing a great job! Make the choice to encourage one another instead of knocking each other down.
Stand with me today and knock mom guilt to the curb.
That is such a true statment, I had never thought of it that way. Thank you for sharing!
I think because moms are required to make so many other lists in life (grocery list, homework list, practice list, to-do list, birthday list…) we subconsciously make the guilt list in our mind and it can be never-ending. My husband on the other hand…I don’t know if he ever has a list more than three things. Let alone feel guilty about what not’s on it. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement today. Visiting from Wise Woman.
Exactly!!! I have had so much more peace once I came to that realization <3
I’m so right here, because I think it’s less important to compare myself to others and more important to just focus on what’s going on in my life. At the end of the day, I mostly likely have done at least a decent job of being a mom. Some days are harder/worse than others, but keeping the focus on myself and my family helps me tremendously in combatting any ‘mom guilt’! 🙂
Yes, I think it is something we all struggle with but it is so unwarranted. Good luck pushing back 🙂
I struggle SO much with mom guilt! I’ve always been a little envious of my husband because he never struggles with it. Definitely need to make more of an effort to push back!
What Shannon Baird said. Focusing on personal growth and keeping my brains “alive” really helps me to gain right perspective. I have to be conscious of it though, because it is so easy to get distracted by all things domestic. It is so helpful to come across a reminder like this one, thanks!
We as moms have to take care of ourselves if we want to be our best for our husband and kids. I finally started to see that last year when I started to get burnt out. So I’ve been taking steps to do some things that are just for me. When you take care of yourself so you’re a better person for your loved ones, it’s not being selfish at all – because you’re doing it for yourself and them. So, yes, kick that guilt to the curb because you’re not being selfish! Thanks for linking up today for Tuesday Talk! -Jess
http://www.sweetlittleonesblog.com
Thank you for sharing your wonderful and encouraging words. As a first time mom, I thought that mom guilt was exclusive to those who work outside the home. So as a stay at home mom, I felt even more guilty for having mom guilt! But you’re right: we don’t have to explain to anyone why we choose to do the things we do, and we shouldn’t feel guilty about that. Just like anyone out there, we’re only trying to survive like the rest of them. Insightful and definitely eye-opening, and I appreciate it 🙂
When I worked outside of the home, I didn’t have mom guilt. I knew I needed to work to pay the bills and contribute to the family. But once I stayed home, I felt guilty all the time!! I always felt I could be doing more or questioning the things I was doing. I am slowly getting better about feeling confident in the decisions I make about what we will be doing that day or the rules we have in place. It does get tough. Who knew adulthood would be so tough!!
Stopping by from the Shine Hop!
Oh I know! Sometimes I would love to go back to 8-10 years ago and tell myself to RELAX!!
That saying “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t” I think sometimes we focus so much on being a mom that we forget to be a person and enjoy life. I have learned I can’t do it all, be it all, or even expect half of all. If the perfectionist pre-mom could see me now! hahaha
Oh yes!! Fantasy world and the real world are far from the same around here as well. I do think men are more realistic, plus let’s face it they don’t have the distractions that we do!
Mom guilt is a frequent visitor around here too. Posts like these help me to remember I’m not alone in my crazy thoughts and other moms struggle with this too! Thanks for sharing! #shinebloghop
So true! Visiting you from the Shine blog hop. I think husbands are more realistic about what can actually be done with their time (at least mine is.) He knows that he’s not going to work an 8-hour day, do at least 3 activities with the kids that are educational, active, and fun, clean the entire house, stay on top of all the bills and his email inbox, fix the squeaky door upstairs, check all the kids’ homework, and make dinner for the neighbor who just had a baby all in one day. Me, well, I entertain the fantasy that it could be possible…
I’m hyping myself up for some time away… I will not let mom-guilt interfere with the opportunity to rest and recharge.
Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop Misty.
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
I’m trying to push back more… it’s hard though!
Exactly!!
Oh yes… the mom guilt. It often rears its ugly head. I hate it and frequently push back.
Thanks for sharing this encouragement Misty.
xoxo