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My husband walks in the door, after spending the morning with the kids. I had some deadlines with work, and he wanted to help by getting them OUT of the house, he was also going to pick me up a gift bag for a wedding shower later that day.
The first thing I noticed? He did NOT have the gift bag. I asked why, he informed me that he forgot. Long story, short, I became the unglued wife.
How could he forget?
He had ONE task for me, ONE!
Had he been on the phone?
Did he even try to remember?
Why couldn’t he do this ONE thing?
This fight was not really about the gift bag. Fight’s like this rarely are. If you think back to the last time you became an unglued wife, I am going to guess the fight was due to one of these three things.
- A Past Hurt- Maybe the action you were upset about reminded you of a time you were hurt by your spouse.
- An annoyance- For me, this was the case that day. Forgetfulness does not go well with my organized nature.
- Stuffed Emotions-If you are one to stuff past hurts and annoyances, at some point they will blow up.
When we harbor any of these three things, we can almost guarantee that we will become an unglued wife. We are a ticking time bomb, and if left unchecked, we will explode!
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be an unglued wife. I don’t want my husband to have to worry about when I am going to explode. My explosive side is not pretty, and I would NOT want to be married to it. So, what can we do to prevent becoming an unglued wife?
- Pray! Ask God to help you get a handle on your emotions. When you begin feeling like you are going to explode, excuse yourself. Go somewhere and pray. Right then.
- Offer Grace! This is what needs to happen with the annoyances. I forget things. No matter how organized I may be. Yet, my husband doesn’t blow up on me over it. Why can’t I offer him the same grace? Figure out what your annoyances are, and remind yourself that YOU are NOT perfect. Why expect perfection from your spouse
- Talk it out! If you are a stuffer, you need to let it out. Nicely. Take the time to talk to your spouse about what is bothering you. Don’t let them eat you alive. The result is not pretty. Believe me!
This fight with my husband is not one of my proudest moments. I never thanked him for trying to help me. Instead, I picked at the one thing forgot. But, it happens. I am a work in progress, and sometimes I fail.
If this is you, I encourage you to offer grace to your spouse next time, pray that God helps you get a handle on your emotions, and talk it out when you are frustrated. Doing these things can prevent you from becoming an unglued wife!
Have you ever had an unglued wife experience? Please, share!
If you struggle with becoming unglued, check out Lysa Terkeursts book, Unglued!
Misty, I love love love this. It’s too bad we didn’t come with Pause Buttons. When that initial instinct to react hits, we just hit it before we say something we regret. Before grace finds us. Sometimes my mouth speaks before grace finds me, unfortunately. Then I find myself in the other room, silently scolding myself (yes, I do this) for not thinking before I speak. I find that if I get set off, my husband gets set off. If I remain calm, my husband will often remain calm. Patience is a constant struggle with me; a constant prayer. I’m always amazed at how much grace my husband extends to me. I tell him all the time that I wish I had the patience he has. I’m a work in progress.
Thank you for the recommendation!
I have read “Overcoming Emotions that Destroy: Practical Help for Those Angry Feelings That Ruin Relationships” by Chip Ingram & Becca Johnson. Very good, practical advice you can implement, will give you an awareness (whether husband or wife), and the book has Christian content. I borrowed it from our local library. I recommend it.
Yes, READ IT!! This is my 2nd time going through the study, and third time reading the book. I learn something each time.
This has happened a time or two in our house, as well. I own Unglued, but with my ever-growing-list of books I want to read I’ve never opened it. Maybe it’s time! ‘Pray. Offer grace. Talk it out.’ <– That should be the mantra in every house. Thank you for sharing your heart and tips with us!