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You’ve given it a shot, but homeschooling just isn’t working. What do you do? We are breaking down how to handle what to do when homeschooling is hard.
I sat with my planner and counted days. I looked at our books and figured up how far in we were, and how far we still had to go. This evaluation let me know how we had done so far this year. But, it also let me know what we NEEDED to do better.
This is the time of year when most of us are evaluating our school year. We may ask ourselves the following questions:
- What has been working?
- What’s not?
- How many days do we have in?
- Are we behind?
But, what if your midyear evaluation just reiterates the fact that homeschooling just isn’t working for you? Maybe you’ve been trying and things haven’t gotten easier.
The kids are miserable.
You’re miserable.
What do you do?
Reevaluate WHY You are Homeschooling
Did you begin homeschooling because you felt led to? Or because you felt you HAD to? I have found there is a big difference. Those who felt led to homeschool tend to stay the course. Those who felt they had to, not so much.
Revaluate why you are homeschooling. If it is because you felt you HAD to (bullying, the husband insisted, kids weren’t doing well in school, violence, etc) then maybe reevaluate the situation. Has it changed? Or is it still the same? If you still feel you HAVE to homeschool then you may need to adjust your attitude. Take some time and look at the positives homeschooling has brought to your life. Make the decision to choose joy in your situation. Tell yourself (and your kids) you are ALL in. Once you have determined to stay the course because it is in the best interest of your family, you may be surprised how quickly the mood in your home changes.
Is it the Curriculum?
How is your curriculum? Is it too teacher intensive considering everything else you have going on? Not as hands-on as your children may need? Maybe the kids just DON’T like it. These are all legitimate reasons that will make homeschooling more difficult. Take a good solid look at your curriculum and see if there is anything you can change.
If you determine a change is needed, take a look at this book by Cathy Duffy. It not only helps with the curriculum, but it also helps you evaluate yours and your child’s teaching/learning styles. The book then breaks down how kids learn, and how you teach and helps you find a curriculum that fits both of those needs.
Are you TOO Busy?
Sometimes we are just TOO busy to homeschool. Yes, I know kids can learn anywhere, and books can be brought along. But, realistically, how often does that work long term?
Moms, it is up to US to ensure that we are not too busy to homeschool our children. This may mean seeing if we can cut back on a few commitments. When we are too busy we get burnt out, our kid’s school gets put on the back burner, and homeschooling will NOT work.
Do You Need to Just Quit?
Yes, I said that. Now, before I go on let me just say that I LOVE homeschooling. Homeschooling is great, for many families and many children, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.
I know homeschooling parents who have put their kids back in public school. Homeschooling was not working for them in their season of life. Some pulled the kids back out and are homeschooling successfully. Some have kids still in public school and the kids are thriving. Some have one kid in public school and others who are homeschooled. Homeschooling is not a one size fits all situation.
If this is you right now, I encourage you to pray. Talk to your kids. Talk to your spouse. Take some time and determine together what is the best situation for you and your family.
Homeschool moms need support. All the time, but especially when things just aren’t working. If this is you, find a friend to talk to. Pray. Take some time to yourself.
If you have a homeschool mom friend who is going through a rough time, hug her neck. If she is considering throwing in the towel, LISTEN to her. Don’t discourage her. Offer to pray with her. Don’t condemn her.
When homeschooling is not working that is the time we most need each other. Let’s lift one another up, not tear each other down. Let’s choose to encourage one another today.
What have you done when homeschooling JUST wasn’t working?
PS: Want a more successful homeschool? Before you throw in the towel check out this course. It is guaranteed to help YOU have a more successful homeschool!
Hi Cari,
I feel for you. I work part time but it is 3 nights a week to midnight and I just can’t get my head around homeschooling and home care in the hours I have left after getting enough sleep. I have a mixture of personalities with my 3 boys and it isn’t easy to juggle when I am not always there to keep them on track. I hope you found a way to cope.
Best wishes
Jen in Oz
Oh my goodness, I have a twin!!!!
I have been homeschooling for 10 years now but in the last two years I have also been working full time. I am so lost as to what to do. Basically, we home school because we don’t have a choice. We cannot afford private schools and the public school system here is really bad. With our curriculum we pretty much school year round which works for us because we have learned that long summer days of inactivity make us very lazy. I have one child that thrives , one that doesn’t and one that really needs way more structure and back to back activity because he is a little adhd like his father. The oldest (10th grade) is doing great, she does her studies, I help her when she needs it, but she is doing well in most all of her subjects. The middle one will not do his work. He says he will or did but unless I’m cracking the whip, he’s playing video games :\ The youngest (7th) wants to go to public school. He wants to do more. He needs more than what he gets at home but with mine and my husbands work schedules we just don’t have any extra time. My oldest son does help out a lot by taking them to the park and stuff. I’m just at a loss. How do I find the energy to stay on these kids, keep up with their grading and work and sleep.
Oh, don’t you wish we could stop second guessing ourselves?! 9 years in…. still do it 🙁
I (we) have yet to officially start, within academic areas, but teaching our 2 much of everything, that’s our job as mom’s right!?? 😏 I still doubt myself that I’ll give them ALL they need, while keeping up with knowledge of things, as well as spiritual-biblical, and maintain the house, hubby, myself, etc. Not sure, my mind is running all the time, while DOING day to day!!? Ever contemplating!!?
Renee, no one should homeschool out of obligation, guilt or the feeling that they have no other options. Each family has to decide what is best for THEIR family. Anything else is really none of anyones business. I am sure your decision has not come lightly and having little to no support has to be difficult. I’m praying for you. That this will be an easy transition and that you will have peace over whatever decision you choose.
Thank you for this! I am overwhelmed by a 7 year old who is stubborn, high energy, and incredibly intense. I feel like I am failing her by looking into private schools, I feel like I am failing myself and our family. I have zero support -no friends, family is limited to talk to about it because they really don’t listen just go on about how great it is that Im doing this, so it makes me feel like we’re not allowed to have a rough time and that they certainly don’t want to hear it, and my husband just figures whatever I pick is just fine, so talking with him is mute. Anymore it is nothing less that difficult, miserable, overwhelming or all three at once. Anyways thank you for not saying its just “This” or “That” but that sometimes it is ok that the season isn’t right and that things can be reevaluated on a continuing bases and that there could be a mix of what is right for a family
You are SO welcome! I have seen many families in your shoes. Praying for you all!
Thank you for your honesty and pragmatism at recognizing that sometimes difficulties are not simply homeschooling burn-out, and that public school can be a solution. We are taking a sabbatical year this year by enrolling our school-aged children in the local school, and it has alleviated so much pressure on me while encouraging better family dynamics. My oldest three are all gifted, high-intensity children in their younger elementary years — and I found it impossible to keep them engaged and on-task on a daily basis (with two toddlers underfoot). While the school is not able to accelerate their subjects as much, the children have benefitted greatly from the routine and consistency and we have received some very generous accommodations.
I am so sorry Yilian. Prayers for you and your son. I truly believe that homeschooling CAN work, but if you and your son are both at odds…. you may need to revaluate the situation. What helps me is remembering WHY we homeschool. Maybe taking a break from the books for a day or so and just enjoy being together. Taking time to gether as a family may put you both back on the right track.
I’m feeling that way right now. And I feel like no one understands that I just can’t do it. My son and I are always arguing and its just not an enjoyable experience for either of us at this point. My husband feels I should keep trying. I’m not sure I want to but I’m feeling obligated to.
Oh yes, great post! While homeschool isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, it should be an enjoyable experience that promotes a life long love of learning. 🙂
Thank you Leah!
I think is a great post. We as homeschool moms don’t always give each other permission to acknowledge that homeschooling just isn’t working.